Under the Beech Tree
by turkish.nonsense
Summary: Stop what? Stop loving you? I can't." Lily/James


A/N: Thanks to Cee, and Juliana, for their wonderful help.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter belongs to JKR. all these characters are hers, not mine.

Lily sat under the beech tree, looking out over the lake. She was wrapped up in her heavy coat, her Gryffindor scarf, her gloves, and her winter boots as the snow fell around her. The lake was frozen solid, except where the giant squid had shoved one of his tentacles through.

Other students were milling about, though only a few. Most were inside on a day like this. Lily, however, didn't mind so much. She liked quiet, and sometimes that was hard to find at Hogwarts.

She was simply gazing, taking in the way the snow contrasted with the castle roof, the way the trees were draped with ice, the way orange flickered faintly from a few windows, when she heard footsteps, coming closer. Her mind was too distant to turn, to see who it was. She didn't think she cared anyway.

The figure paused for a moment, and then sat down next to her.

"Um, you don't mind, do you?"

Finally, she turned her head and smiled.

"No, of course not, James."

His hair, untidy as always, was blowing in the wind, as he smiled back to her. She noticed his ears, bright red from the cold.

"You look like you could use a hat."

"No, my hair is always like this. There's nothing I can do about it." He smiled, but raised a hand to attempt to flatten it anyway.

She laughed. "No, I meant your ears – they're turning red." She pulled an extra hat out of her pocket. He began to extract his hands from his pockets, but she reached over and put the hat on for him.

For a moment, their eyes met, and they were just a few inches apart. Lily froze.

A snowball hit James on the back of the head, knocking his forehead into Lily's. He stood up, whirling to find the culprit. Lily leaned around the tree, a hand pressed to her forehead.

Severus Snape was walking briskly away, headed toward the castle. James had a hand at his pocket, ready to pull out his wand, but changed his mind and sat down next to Lily again.

"Good thing I had this hat," He said, smiling at Lily, but she was too busy staring after Severus, her brow furrowed, biting her lip.

"What's wrong?"

She sighed. "Nothing." She looked out across the grounds again.

"Please, tell me."

She looked at him out of the corner of her eye, and then looked back to the grounds. "It's just, I… well… I miss him."

James blinked, bewildered. "Lily, he called you a _Mudblood_. He's a git!"

Lily sighed again. "You wouldn't understand. We've been friends for six years. Even though his friends are terrible, even though I know he plans to be a Death Eater. I've tried to persuade him all these years. He's never listened, but that didn't stop me from still trying, didn't stop us from being friends. And then one word and it's all over."

"Okay, I guess I understand," he said, "but why would you _want_ to talk to a git like him?"

Lily just looked sternly at him.

"Sorry. I just… Sorry."

Lily sighed. "It's not your fault. Maybe I _am_ being absurd. Friends _don't_ call each other Mudbloods. And I shouldn't want to be friends with someone who thinks of any Muggleborn that way." She pulled her knees up to her chest and wrapped her arms around them.

It was quiet for a moment. Lily thought about the way a friendship had so easily crumbled. James simply stared at her. He sighed. "Way to ruin, a mood, Snape."

Lily rolled her eyes.

"Sorry," James mumbled again.  
Lily nodded and looked away.  
Gingerly, James held up a hand and moved it to her back and slowly started drawing circles between her shoulder blades with his finger tips. "You don't need him, Lily. Like you said, you shouldn't be friends with someone who thinks of Muggleborns differently from other Wizards."  
Lily was shocked by his touch, but didn't move away. She knew he was right. She didn't need Severus, but she still missed him. A lot. "Yeah," she mumbled, looking back at his face. He was close again. His skin was flawless, a little tan from being out in the sun frequently. His nose was just a bit crooked, from colliding with a bludger one year. Lily thought it fit him well. His eyes, a strange shade of dark blue, searched hers; for what, Lily didn't know. Vaguely, she heard the bell ring. She didn't move. She didn't _want_ to move.

"Lily…" The hand on her back slowly moved to cup the back of her neck as he moved closer. Lily's eyes fluttered unwillingly closed. A tiny voice in the back of her mind protested feebly. The rest of her ignored it. She inhaled, and he just smelled so _good._ Unthinking, she leaned forward. She shivered.

Then they were touching. His lips pressed to hers cautiously, softly, gently, gauging her reaction. On their own, Lily's hands placed themselves on James's shoulders, and she pressed in closer. Their lips moved together, as if they were made just for this purpose, made for each other.

Finally, James pulled away, sighing.

Lily blinked. _James Potter. _She just _kissed_ James Potter. _What?!_

She looked at him with wide eyes for a moment.

"Lily? Lily what's…?"

She stood, wordlessly. James followed. The grounds were empty now, and they were both late for class. Lily couldn't have cared less. She merely gave James a shocked look, and turned and fled.

He ran after her and easily caught up. He reached for her and stopped her, turning her toward him. Tears were falling down her cheeks, her eyes red.

"James, don't," She said.

"Don't _what,_ Lily?"

"Stop… Don't…" She stared at her feet. He pulled her chin up, forcing the green eyes to meet the blue.

"Stop _what_? Stop loving you? I can't. Stop trying to get you to _see_, to explain how _much_ I truly do love you? If I did, I'd be a sorry excuse for a person. Lily, it sounds overdramatic, but it's so true. I mean it with my every cell, every part of me. You're the reason I wake up in the morning."

Lily felt as if she could see deep into those blue eyes, to the bottom of the ocean. Truth was etched in those eyes. Lily couldn't find a contradiction anywhere.

James pulled her close again, into deeper, more passionate kiss. Lily lost herself again. They were just one person, or maybe not even a person at all. She belonged to him, and he to her. She tangled her hands in his hair, and pressed closer, though it didn't seem possible. She realized then what her heart was trying to tell her. Her brain was just too stubborn to see. Now, her vision was clear. Finally, gasping for air, she pulled away. James pressed his forehead to hers.

"Lily, please." Pain echoed in his voice, as if his life depended on her. She wasn't sure what he was asking, exactly, but it didn't matter. She'd give him anything. She tipped her head up and kissed him again.

In Professor McGonagall's classroom, Severus Snape sat by the window, his heart in two.


End file.
